An interview with Simon McTierney

We thought we’d try copying the Readers Digest! Interviews with carers – a new way to hear your stories and a way for us to get out and meet people over a cup of coffee!

May 28th 2010 It was a hot day in Plymouth; a certain member of the Carers Champions team was limbering up for the half marathon; people around the country were looking back at the memory of the Dunkirk Landings and Sally (Carers Champions Advice and Outreach Worker) met Simon McTierney upstairs in the Dingles restaurant, overlooking the street below. Sally’s mission: to find out more about just one of the many carers in the city.

CC: Simon, what are the three things you’d most like people to know about you?
SM: Well, I’m an ex-boxer; but I’d like people to know that inside this exterior, lies a caring, empathetic person.
I also like talking – on all sorts of topics! [Hmm this might need several cups of coffee!]
I like having a laugh … not just for myself, because I like cheering people up… I’ve got a dry sense of humour.

CC: What would you be doing if you weren’t here now?
SM: Most likely I’d be painting or decorating – either for family or friends or for my landlord.  I’ve been doing it for years … for employment and to help people.

CC: And how long have you been caring?
SM: It’s hard to tell really; it came on so gradually – when it’s someone you’ve known all your life you don’t really see it that way to start with. I suppose it must be 15 or 20 years now.

CC: What difference has it made to your life, Simon?
SM: I think I’m far less selfish now than I used to be; once I could just think about what I wanted to do and now I tend to think about other people in my plans. I’ve changed a lot as a person. People seem to appreciate me more – that’s nice.
I’ve had to give up a lot of things – I used to like to travel a lot and I don’t do that any more. Then, of course, there was the sport – especially the boxing; I don’t have much time for those nowadays.
And I guess it’s the main reason why I’ve stayed single – caring for my mum is less complicated without someone else …

CC: What about your family and friends – what difference has it made to them?
SM: Well, it’s definitely had an impact on my relationship with my siblings; before I was looked upon as the baby of the family. Now I feel as if they have more respect for me – not that they’d say that in so many words!
Then, when I started counselling, that made a difference to how they viewed me as well – they could see that I was a responsible person.

CC: How do you manage to juggle work and caring?
SM: It’s harder being self-employed in some ways – in one way it seems as if I could choose whether or not to work (if I’m needed in a crisis); yet it’s hard to turn down work when you need it! Some times of the year are worse than others – right now when it’s spring/summer time, people want things doing; I hate having to say no to things because I know that I won’t be able to fit them in with everything else. You know I also do volunteering – working with clients for MIND.

CC: So what happens when one thing gets in the way of the other?
SM: I have to prioritise … think about what I feel is the most important at the time … but it does cause real guilt if I’m doing one thing and get that horrible strong feeling that I should be somewhere else. [And don’t we know what that feels like?!]

CC: What do you do for yourself? Do you get any leisure activities?
SM: I still like to do some sport when I can. I’m doing a WEA computer course and sometimes I get to play a bit of badminton with the girls from the computer room. I’ve recently played golf with my landlord – of course that’s mostly summer time activities and maybe then I’d get one day and an evening to do things like that. Apart from that I like to play my guitar … I used to draw a lot of cartoons but I haven’t done that recently. [Mental note: ask Simon to draw something for the newsletter or the website!]

CC: Would you ever consider giving up caring?
SM: No! [You had to be there to see the shock that went with this single word answer!]
Well, it would just go against my principles – it’s not in my nature to do that.

CC: I didn’t think so somehow, but anyway, if you could change something in your life (apart from other people’s health) and if money was no object, what would that be?
SM: I’d really like a place of my own … in fact, come to think of it, I’d like two places of my own: one to escape the winter! This last one was pretty cold!

CC: Have you got any hopes or dreams for the future?
SM: Well I do have one goal: I really want to gain more experience in what I’m doing now, which is volunteering with MIND and Nightlink. That came about through others – they said that I had really good listening skills and should do something with them. In a few years time I’d like to think of myself as having a small base of clients and doing Mental Health counselling.

CC: Thanks Simon for giving up your time for this – what have you got to do now?
SM: I’m going to sell my car, then I’m dog-sitting for my sister – she’s taken Mum to the Chelsea Flower Show.

And with that Simon disappeared back into his busy world – where he is making a big difference to the worlds of other people.

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